Birthday Musings

So it was my birthday yesterday. The whole family took the day off and spent it together. My two teenagers had a ceasefire (thank God!) and for once, didn't drive me nuts with their bickering and teasing. They actually get along very well, but when the mood strikes, and it seems to often, they just get on each other's nerves. After a very nice morning, we had a great lunch. Sometimes its nice to just catch up, talk, and laugh. I really liked that. Cheesecake Factory is a family favorite, and we ate off each other's plates. Afterwards, they took me to see Pirates of the Caribbean (which was okay but loooong). Finally, hubby and I relaxed at home, and had a couple of drinks by the pool under a beautiful, clear night sky.

You know, birthdays always make me reflect on life. I have a lovely home, wonderful husband and lively, vivacious kids that keep me on my toes. I also have my writing, for which I am very thankful, because it's always been my lifelong dream to write. Sometimes, with life's ups and downs, I have a tendency to focus on the negative. But really, if I actually sit down and take the time to make a list, the blessings far outnumber the hard times. But human nature being what it is, most of the time I tend to overlook all the blessings in my life.

Birthday wishes? I wish to be more successful at writing. *g* I fervently wish my kids will grow up to be smart, stable, practical adults. I wish for them to finish college and experience life at its fullest. But at the same time, I wish we can keep the closeness we have now. Most of all, I wish there were more hours in the day so I can devote it to writing. Real life has a nasty habit of intruding. LOL.

Happy Birthday to Me!

My Review: Miss October by Madison Hayes

Before I became an author, I was, and still am, a reader. When I was a young girl, I devoured Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys. Soon after, I moved on to Harlequin, Loveswept, and Sil. I discovered historicals and graduated to erotic romance. I have a ton of books at home that the hubby is just itching to get rid of. He keeps threatening to donate all of them to a local bookstore, or put them up for sale at Ebay. Horrors! Those are all keepers! Lately, I've been reading a lot of ebooks, which is good. I can store them in my computer and hubby won't be any wiser. Bwa ha ha ha!

When the muse takes a day off, I like to read. Sybil asked me to be a guest ebuzzer on her site. I was in the mood for something funny and sexy, so I reviewed Miss October by Madison Hayes (love her and love her books!). You can find my review here.

How Much Sex Are You Having?

Eighteen years ago, my husband and I were married. We were kids madly in love -- I was nineteen and he was twenty. Within two years, we had two beautiful kids. After eighteen years, I know him like the back of my hand. We can finish each other's sentences and think pretty much along the same lines. Our kids hate that, of course, because they can't play Mommy against Daddy, and they claim our ultimate plan is to control their lives. Bwa ha ha ha...what took them so long to figure that one out?

I was listening to the radio the other day while driving -- no, sitting-- on the 405. Anybody from So Cal knows that it doesn't matter what time of the day it is, the 405 is damn crowded! Everybody and their mama were on it the same time I was. But I digress. The topic on the radio was how little sex (or sometimes none at all) married couples are having nowadays! GASP! You mean people don't screw like rabbits anymore after they've been married for some time? You don't say!Which brings me to my question: How much sex is normal when you're married? By married, I don't mean two months, six months or even a year. I mean eight, nine, ten years. Even fifteen. Are you having sex once a week? Twice a week if you're lucky? What's normal anyway?

(I've read somewhere that men reach their sexual peak in their twenties. So their sexual urges were strongest at that time, I'm assuming. Women? In their thirties. So by the time women reach their sexual peak, men are over theirs. So should women go out with younger men who can match their appetites? *bg* Just food for thought. We'll talk about that another day.)

There are so many factors that can affect a married couple's sex life. For one thing, marriage carries so much more responsibility. Job pressures and financial issues are just a couple. Both can adversely affect a couple's sex life. Suddenly, settling down doesn't seem so peaceful and well..settled.

I also believe that married couples go through a period of adjustment after the initial intensity of the passion wears off after a few years. Like in my case, the things that my husband did back then that I thought were so cute and endearing now just irritate the hell out of me. Sound familiar? LOL. If I'm pissed, trust me, the last thing I feel like having is sex.

I'll be honest. After eighteen years, I've decided that I like quality over quantity. I've come to realize that sex is better when it's with deep intimacy and maturity. SO much better. Over the years, we've learned to discuss what works for both of us. You know what else is amazing? I tell him what I like and he tells me what he likes (I'll give you two guesses what that is) and we go on from there. Sex is important in a relationship and I don't think anybody can really say what's normal and what's not. Whatever floats your boat, so to speak. If spanking gets you off, hey, knock yourself out. *g* Different strokes for different folks. As long as you are having sex, right?

A Good Man Is Hard to Find

I have a friend visiting from San Fran. Julie (names have been changed to protect the innocent) is in her late twenties, attractive, successful and smart. Lately, she's felt frustrated because she's still single. According to her, finding a good man nowadays is almost impossible.

I have to admit, I'm surprised. Surely, there are good men out there? I don't know what the population statistics are, but I doubt very much if women outnumber men. Besides, what's considered a good man anyway? Julie says she'd like a man without 1) any substance abuse problem 2) emotional baggage (yeah, right) and third and most important of all, will be faithful to her. Oh, and it doesn't hurt if he's got a full head of hair and is gorgeous to boot. My other girlfriend, Chris, in her infinite sarcastic wisdom, snorted and said good luck.

So if you're a single woman, where do you find men? In a bar? Nah. Too much of a meat market atmosphere. Besides, meeting a man while under the influence of alcohol is never good. Gee, he looked gorgeous the last time I saw him. LOL. Wrong. Girlfriend, it was the damn margarita that made him look so good. What about the workplace? Possible. But if you're higher up than he is, that could be grounds for sexual harrassment. Blind date? *shudder* Matchmakers? No way. Friends and relatives have been known to find every weirdo in town. Me? I met my hubby in the parking lot of a mall (of all places) after my then boyfriend stood me up! Looking back, I'm glad ex-boyfriend didn't show. Otherwise, my hubby probably never would've asked for my phone number.
Julie's honest enough to admit what her problem is.She's hoping to find a man much like the heroes in romance books. You know, an alpha male who is strong, confident and has unbelievable sexual prowess. Gawd. I mean really, does a man like that exist? If she ever finds somebody like that, she should hide him from the rest of the female population.

So do you think that romance readers tend to look for the kind of men that can only be found between the pages of a romance book? You've read about the mysterious, leather jacket-wearing"bad" boys who don't have a care in the world. Reality check. That man riding that crotch rocket with all the tattooes? Do you think he'll still look sexy three, four years from now when he refuses to give up his motorcycle for a minivan? What about the gazillionaire who can't find a woman who isn't after his money? Or who needs a nanny to take care of his orphaned neice or nephew? (Hey, I read series books, too!) Rich guys aren't really into nannies, unless they're Jude Law. Romance book heroes, once they realize they're in love, show a willingness to commit, know how to say sorry, and most important of all, will stop to ask for directions, if necessary. I'm not saying they don't exist in real life. Just very rare. If you've got a man like that, hold on tight and don't let go. *g* Reality is much different. Men leave socks (and clothes) on the floor, hate doing dishes, won't ask for directions and spend way too much time watching football on tv. I will never forget one of hubby's famous lines-- "I don't know what you're thinking unless you tell me. I'm not psychic. There are times when I will forget to tell you I love you and I don't always want to "communicate". I'm just a regular man!"

Aww, honey. Even if you've driven me to the brink of insanity sometimes, I wouldn't exchange you for all the romance heroes in the world. As for Julie, I told her to keep looking. She'll find her man. He may not look like Hugh Jackman. He may not have perfect abs, tight ass, and chiseled looks but the perfect man for her is out there. It's just a matter of time.

Me too! Me too!

I've joined the blogging bandwagon!
I probably won't be able to post every day (not that anybody cares anyway) *g* but I'll be around. This is where I can think out loud, express my opinion and observations. I've gotta warn ya, I'm not interested in drama, snarky comments or hate mail. I've got two teenagers, so trust me, I've got enough drama in my life. Come and visit my blog. Read my posts. Leave a comment or just say hi. I appreciate it. Thanks for stopping by.