How Much Sex Are You Having?

Eighteen years ago, my husband and I were married. We were kids madly in love -- I was nineteen and he was twenty. Within two years, we had two beautiful kids. After eighteen years, I know him like the back of my hand. We can finish each other's sentences and think pretty much along the same lines. Our kids hate that, of course, because they can't play Mommy against Daddy, and they claim our ultimate plan is to control their lives. Bwa ha ha ha...what took them so long to figure that one out?

I was listening to the radio the other day while driving -- no, sitting-- on the 405. Anybody from So Cal knows that it doesn't matter what time of the day it is, the 405 is damn crowded! Everybody and their mama were on it the same time I was. But I digress. The topic on the radio was how little sex (or sometimes none at all) married couples are having nowadays! GASP! You mean people don't screw like rabbits anymore after they've been married for some time? You don't say!Which brings me to my question: How much sex is normal when you're married? By married, I don't mean two months, six months or even a year. I mean eight, nine, ten years. Even fifteen. Are you having sex once a week? Twice a week if you're lucky? What's normal anyway?

(I've read somewhere that men reach their sexual peak in their twenties. So their sexual urges were strongest at that time, I'm assuming. Women? In their thirties. So by the time women reach their sexual peak, men are over theirs. So should women go out with younger men who can match their appetites? *bg* Just food for thought. We'll talk about that another day.)

There are so many factors that can affect a married couple's sex life. For one thing, marriage carries so much more responsibility. Job pressures and financial issues are just a couple. Both can adversely affect a couple's sex life. Suddenly, settling down doesn't seem so peaceful and well..settled.

I also believe that married couples go through a period of adjustment after the initial intensity of the passion wears off after a few years. Like in my case, the things that my husband did back then that I thought were so cute and endearing now just irritate the hell out of me. Sound familiar? LOL. If I'm pissed, trust me, the last thing I feel like having is sex.

I'll be honest. After eighteen years, I've decided that I like quality over quantity. I've come to realize that sex is better when it's with deep intimacy and maturity. SO much better. Over the years, we've learned to discuss what works for both of us. You know what else is amazing? I tell him what I like and he tells me what he likes (I'll give you two guesses what that is) and we go on from there. Sex is important in a relationship and I don't think anybody can really say what's normal and what's not. Whatever floats your boat, so to speak. If spanking gets you off, hey, knock yourself out. *g* Different strokes for different folks. As long as you are having sex, right?