Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A Good Man Is Hard to Find

I have a friend visiting from San Fran. Julie (names have been changed to protect the innocent) is in her late twenties, attractive, successful and smart. Lately, she's felt frustrated because she's still single. According to her, finding a good man nowadays is almost impossible.

I have to admit, I'm surprised. Surely, there are good men out there? I don't know what the population statistics are, but I doubt very much if women outnumber men. Besides, what's considered a good man anyway? Julie says she'd like a man without 1) any substance abuse problem 2) emotional baggage (yeah, right) and third and most important of all, will be faithful to her. Oh, and it doesn't hurt if he's got a full head of hair and is gorgeous to boot. My other girlfriend, Chris, in her infinite sarcastic wisdom, snorted and said good luck.

So if you're a single woman, where do you find men? In a bar? Nah. Too much of a meat market atmosphere. Besides, meeting a man while under the influence of alcohol is never good. Gee, he looked gorgeous the last time I saw him. LOL. Wrong. Girlfriend, it was the damn margarita that made him look so good. What about the workplace? Possible. But if you're higher up than he is, that could be grounds for sexual harrassment. Blind date? *shudder* Matchmakers? No way. Friends and relatives have been known to find every weirdo in town. Me? I met my hubby in the parking lot of a mall (of all places) after my then boyfriend stood me up! Looking back, I'm glad ex-boyfriend didn't show. Otherwise, my hubby probably never would've asked for my phone number.
Julie's honest enough to admit what her problem is.She's hoping to find a man much like the heroes in romance books. You know, an alpha male who is strong, confident and has unbelievable sexual prowess. Gawd. I mean really, does a man like that exist? If she ever finds somebody like that, she should hide him from the rest of the female population.

So do you think that romance readers tend to look for the kind of men that can only be found between the pages of a romance book? You've read about the mysterious, leather jacket-wearing"bad" boys who don't have a care in the world. Reality check. That man riding that crotch rocket with all the tattooes? Do you think he'll still look sexy three, four years from now when he refuses to give up his motorcycle for a minivan? What about the gazillionaire who can't find a woman who isn't after his money? Or who needs a nanny to take care of his orphaned neice or nephew? (Hey, I read series books, too!) Rich guys aren't really into nannies, unless they're Jude Law. Romance book heroes, once they realize they're in love, show a willingness to commit, know how to say sorry, and most important of all, will stop to ask for directions, if necessary. I'm not saying they don't exist in real life. Just very rare. If you've got a man like that, hold on tight and don't let go. *g* Reality is much different. Men leave socks (and clothes) on the floor, hate doing dishes, won't ask for directions and spend way too much time watching football on tv. I will never forget one of hubby's famous lines-- "I don't know what you're thinking unless you tell me. I'm not psychic. There are times when I will forget to tell you I love you and I don't always want to "communicate". I'm just a regular man!"

Aww, honey. Even if you've driven me to the brink of insanity sometimes, I wouldn't exchange you for all the romance heroes in the world. As for Julie, I told her to keep looking. She'll find her man. He may not look like Hugh Jackman. He may not have perfect abs, tight ass, and chiseled looks but the perfect man for her is out there. It's just a matter of time.

17 comments:

Jodi said...

I'm not single so I don't know where to look for men these days! I met my husband in a college class.

Beverly Havlir said...

You and me both, Jodi. If I suddenly became single...big if...I wouldn't know where to look, either. *g* I'd be terrified to join the dating scene.

judym said...

Men - the supermarket? Around here, you can go to an autoparts store. LOL Lots of amatuer mechanics and they all want to be Nascar drivers.

Oh, hi Bev.

Hey, Danny, how are you?

I have one of these things too. Still don't know if it will be worth the effort.

Judy

Beverly Havlir said...

Danny -
I can imagine how hard it is. I guess all you can do is be open to the possibility of finding the right one.

Beverly Havlir said...

Hey Judy!

Thanks for stopping by. I don't know how this is going to work out for me, either. We'll see. *g*

Anonymous said...

Hi Beverly, I found you! You're too pretty for words!!

Beverly Havlir said...

Karen darling,

Stop it! *g* May I confess that's an old picture? I'm too vain to post a newer one. LOL!

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate it!

Unknown said...

Hey, Beverly--

I like your blog...and your advice to Julie that she'll sooner or later come upon the right guy. When she does, she'll know it.

I met my DH years ago, when we were both in college. Come to think of it, I believe it was in one of the campus bars, so I couldn't exactly agree bars aren't the right places--or maybe it was that neither of us had had one too many. I hope I hadn't, since I wasn't of drinking age at the time!

Beverly Havlir said...

LOL!
Hi Ann! Thanks for stopping by. Hey, nothing wrong with meeting a guy at a bar. As long as you're not too wasted to remember him the next day! *g*

Anonymous said...

Yeah. That's one of Bev's old pictures. She didn't want to post anything more recent because she didn't want to show the rest of us up.

...she's GORGEOUS.

I think she should be a cover model.

cheers!
madison

Beverly Havlir said...

Aww, Madi. You know I love ya. You're always good to me. Sure, I should be a cover model. For Big Butts R Us! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Here's my advice for Julie. She needs to lower her sights (literally). Short men are really sexy. I don't understand why they are so often overlooked (LOLOL). Evolutionally, they're way ahead of big men. In order to survive and compete for mates they had to be smarter, tougher, better looking and better lovers.

My husband is five-six and he's ...erm ...the only man I could get to marry me.

cheers!
madison

Anonymous said...

Well it wasn't your butt I wanted on my cover m'dear.

LOLOL!
madison

Beverly Havlir said...

OMG! I so agree with you. My husband is not tall at all. We had a very interesting discussion once about height, or his lack of it. He told me he's had to be better, smarter, and work harder than taller guys. And since I'm vertically challenged myself, he's perfect for me! LOL.

Beverly Havlir said...

No? But that's my...ahem...biggest asset!
LOL.

Beverly Havlir said...

Ali-
What a great idea! I'll be sure to pass it along. Julie's such a sweetheart, too. I don't know about the marathon though. The only marathon she does is shopping! LOL.

Beverly Havlir said...

Hi Chey!

Glad to see you here. Thanks for stopping by!

Hugs!