What Kind of Hero Do You Prefer?

Romance heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Well, okay, chunky heroes are few and far between. The norm, it seems, is the tall, dark (or blonde) and handsome. Successful, self-made (or not), confident to the point of arrogance, and smart. Let's not forget sexy. He has to ooze sex appeal. Otherwise, what's the point?

I love alpha males as much as the next reader. I love men who know what they want and how to get it. No vacillating or indecisiveness. Strength of will and steely determination also are necessary.

I heard a song on the radio the other day. Don't know the title but the tune was catchy. It's about a couple who broke up and the girl saw her ex with his new girlfriend. Part of the lyrics went something like this, "Does she rub your feet when you've had a long day?"

My first thought was, it should be, does he rub your feet when you've had a long day? I know, I know. It's just a song. I should lighten up. As I sat down in front of my computer, it got me thinking. What kind of hero do most women prefer? Or more appropriately, how alpha do you want him to be? Do you want him to be the type who wants to be waited on hand and foot?

In some of the books I've read, the alpha(ness) of the hero just went too far out there for me. Some made me cringe. Some made me groan out loud. And then again, some made me want to slap the heroine and tell her to wake the hell up. For me, there's a fine line between being an alpha male and being an obnoxious ass.

I've delved into mild BDSM elements in a couple of my books. Now my stories in no way represent a real bdsm relationship or the real dynamics between a Dom and a sub. I've always emphasized that fact. One BDSM author told me, there are no set rules. The people involved make them up themselves. I agree. I don't think I can actually write a real, stark, no-holds barred story about a Dom/sub relationship. You see, there's a part of me that struggles with the notion that another human being has total say in what I do. I have no problem writing about it AS LONG as the woman is not a doormat and the relationship is consensual. That means, she agrees/allows whatever happens. And realistically, bdsm adds a very erotic element to romance. This isn't the romance your grandma used to read, honey. *g*

BDSM aside, I have to admit, and I'm being honest, I like an alpha male in the bedroom. I want him to take the initiative, to make the move. In the privacy of the bedroom, I like the Me Tarzan, you Jane kind of thing. *g* But I'm also careful to balance that out with humor, well-placed tenderness or gentleness from the guy. If he insists on being alpha in ALL facets of our life, then see ya!

It's human nature to be drawn to a strong, alpha male. It's survival of the fittest. You know that the alpha male will take care of you in good times and bad. Hey, I'm all for that. But I also want a man who has a sense of humor, who can laugh at himself, who can admit to the mistakes he's made, who can say sorry, who knows when to be gentle and how to communicate. I try to incorporate those qualities in my books. I guess it means I want my cake and eat it, too. Nothing wrong with that!

You want that, too. Don't you?