Just Spit It Out

I was watching Laguna Beach: The Real OC the other day with my teenaged daughter. Yeah, yeah, say what you will. It's one of my guilty pleasures. I mean, what's better than watching rich, bored, spoiled kids backstab each other, make faces behind huge designer sunglasses, roll in a Mercedes Benz or Range Rover while flirting with each other, drinking coffee or eating out at a restaurant? (That's all they do on that show. Hang out at the beach. Drink coffee at what seems like the ONLY coffee place in Laguna, or have dinner at a restaurant. When do they ever go to school?)

Anyway, Rocky and Alex (hope I get his name right. They all look the same to me) are having relationship problems. Things are cooling down after...two long weeks? *snicker* They see each other at a bonfire (another yearly event for this show--they have a bonfire every season). The conversation goes something like this:

Rocky: I want to make things work. I want us to work.
Alex: Me too.
Rocky: Really? But every time we're together, it's like there's a wall.
(Get a clue, girly!)
Alex: Just looks at her. Doesn't say anything.
Rocky: Are you happy?
Alex: I am.
They stare at each other. Cut to a shot of the waves hitting the shore. Murmured conversation. More looking at each other.
Rocky: Are we done then?
Alex: Yeah. I guess.
More staring. Then they eventually separate and walk their separate ways.

Now previous to this scene, Alex tells a friend that he's over Rocky. That she's a "stage-five clinger". Upon hearing that, I--typical defender of women's pride--promptly declares him a gutless dog after watching the bonfire break-up. I mean, didn't he just tell his friend that he was over her? Then why doesn't he just tell her outright and get it over with? What's up with the "yeah, i'm happy" crap?

My seventeen year old son looks at me and rolls his eyes and laughs. Tells me to get a grip. Then my daughter tells me her best friend's ex used what must be men's universal reason out there for breaking up. It's not you. It's me. Hey, if that was me, I'd have asked, "so exactly what is it about you that's causing you to break up with me? Then let's see what he says.

Jeez, louise. Is there a book out there that's entitled 101 Stupid, Inane Reasons Men Use to Break-up With Their Girlfriends because they don't have the guts to just come right out and say I don't feel the same way anymore? Personally, I'd prefer the truth to a bs reason like "I need space right now." WTF? Space? I'll give you space. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, buddy.

Then there's the guy who just doesn't call anymore. ABRUPTLY. For no reason at all. Sure, a woman with half a brain would figure out right quick that things were kaput. But to a female hopelessly in love, she'll forever wonder what did I do wrong? Worse, she'll take the blame on, thinking she MUST have done something to turn off the boyfriend and drive him away.

Puh-leeze. More likely, he didn't have the guts to tell you goodbye. So he just doesn't call. Leaving you hanging and possibly needing years of therapy. What crap. Look, the truth hurts and all that stuff, but wouldn't you rather get that than some made up reason that's transparently false anyway?

My kids say I have issues. Hell yeah, I do. If I had the answer to why men do stupid things, I'd write a bestselling women's self-help book about relationships. I don't. I just think that if a guy breaks up with you using a crappy reason, then good riddance. You don't want a man who can't come right out and say what he's thinking or feeling about something as important as your relationship. Sure, men and women are different creatures. Men are not as communicative as women. But do they have to lie? Heck, no. The truth hurts, but at least there will be closure.

What about you? Have you had a ex-boyfriend who gave you a patently false, crappy reason for breaking up with you? Do you want the truth? Or some generic, made-up bit?